Ah, nostaglia. I don't even know how I feel about this emotion. It makes me sad, and depressed, but I like it, glad to have these memories I look upon with tears of happiness, sadness, love, and regret. I always wish things didn't end like they did, but if given the chance, I wouldn't change a thing..... These feelings secret, and locked away, screaming to come out, but knowing that they can't. I love those times, and would give anything to go back to them, as those were the days when I was happiest.
So, as life has it, I must move on, and will do so, with a little reluctance. I'll always have those memories in my heart and in my mind. But with them, leaves a hole that will not be filled by anything life can offer me. Am I stupid to keep thinking of this over and over? I can't help it, as being my fondest, and also most tragic memories, they will always be there.
Next week I am to see my girlfriend, but I am not as happy about this as I would wish to be, I'm nervous, and scared, and feel a strange feeling of guilt, even though I've done nothing wrong. Maybe because thoughts of someone else are clouding my head. But I would never consider anything toward this person......
I'd talk to someone about this, but I don't think any of my friends could help me, as well to the fact that my trust in most people is fading as well.
Sorry for the random burst of emotion. I'll try not to rant like that to much, just needed to vent. I need to find a new release of stress soon, or I'm going to freak out.
Also, in some recent bit of news to end this post with, I've been getting wierd cuts and scratches on my hands and arms while sleeping.....I'm curious about this.....
P.S I'll try to have something more interesting next time.....I hope....
Bii~~
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