Too many memes!

I Am: who I am, and that's all that I am.

I Want: my life back in check.

I Have: a lot to do.

I Wish: for things to work out.

I Hate: nothing, I've stopped hating.

I Fear: losing the people I love.

I Hear: how right I am, and mature I'm being.

I Search: for answers.

I Wonder: if how more I have to learn.

I Regret: losing some people who are close to me.

I Love: my friends.

I Ache: when ever I remember something I miss.

I Usually: try to fix things I messed up.

I Am Not: simple, or complicated.

I Dance: when I feel like it.

I Sing: what I feel like.

I Never: purposely try to hurt someone.

I Rarely: know what the right thing is.

I Am Not Always: as strong as I need/want to be.

I Lose: at video games occasionally.

I Need: to accept people aren't quite as open as me.

I Should: work harder.

I Dream: of a Princess and Pink Lemonade.

Another stolen meme.

I swear, that EVERY meme/blog survey I see. I will do.

I got 79.


Level 1:

( ) Smoked A Cigarette

( ) Smoked A Cigar

( ) Kissed a member of the same sex

(x ) Drank Alcohol (My grandma let me try wine, if that counts.)



SO FAR: 1



Level 2

(x) Are / Been In Love

(x ) Been Dumped

( ) Shoplifted

( ) Been Fired

(x) Been In A Fist Fight



SO FAR: 4



Level 3

(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person

(x) Skipped School

( ) Slept With A Co-worker

( ) Seen Someone / Something Die



SO FAR: 6



Level 4

(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends

( ) Been To Paris

( ) Been To England

( ) Been On A Plane

( ) Thrown Up From Drinking



SO FAR: 7



Level 5

(x) Eaten Sushi

(x) Been Snowboarding

( x ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook/Myspace/MXit (I plan on it.)

( ) Been in a Mosh Pit



SO FAR: 10



Level 6

( x) Taken Pain Killers (I count tylenol)

(x) Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have

(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By

(x) Made A Snow Angel



SO FAR: 14



Level 7

( ) Had A Tea Party

(x) Flown A Kite

(x) Built A Sand Castle

(x ) Gone Mudding

(x) Played Dress Up (pre school) ... (I always picked the cop, or doctr)



SO FAR:18



Level 8

(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves

(x) Gone Sledding

( x ) Cheated While Playing A Game

(x) Been Lonely

(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School



SO FAR: 23



Level 9

(x) Watched The Sun Set

( ) Felt An Earthquake

(x) Held A Snake



SO FAR: 25



Level 10

(x) Been Tickled

( x) Been Robbed / Vandalized

(x ) Been Cheated On

(x) Been Misunderstood



SO FAR: 29



Level 11

(x) Won A Contest

(x ) Been Suspended From/In School

( x) Had Detention

( x ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident



SO FAR: 33



Level 12

( ) Had / Have Braces

( ) Almost Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night

( ) Danced In The Moonlight



SO FAR: 33



Level 13

(x) Hated The Way You Look

( x ) Witnessed A Crime

( x ) Pole Danced

(x) Questioned Your Heart

(x) Been Obsessed With Post It Notes (OMG POST-IT NOTES <3<3<3)



SO FAR: 38



Level 14

(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud

(x) Been Lost

( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World

( ) Swam In The Ocean

(x) Felt Like You Were Dying



SO FAR: 41



Level 15

( ) Cried Yourself To Sleep

(x) Played Cops And Robbers

( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers

( x ) Sang Karaoke

( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins



SO FAR: 43



Level 16

(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't

(x) Made Prank Phone Calls

( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose

( ) Kissed In The Rain



SO FAR: 45



Level 17

(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus

(x) Watched The Sun Set and/or Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About

(x) Blown Bubbles

(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere



SO FAR: 49



Level 18

( ) Crashed A Party

( x) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People

(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading

(x) Had A Wish Come True



SO FAR: 52



Level 19

( ) Worn Pearls

( ) Jumped Off A Bridge

( ) Swam With Dolphins



SO FAR: 52



Level 20

( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube

( ) Kissed A Fish

(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes

(x) Sat on a roof top



SO FAR: 54



Level 21

(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs

( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel

(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours

(x) Recently Stayed Up For A While Talking To Someone You Care About



SO FAR: 57



Level 22

(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree

(x) Climbed A Tree

( ) Had/Been In A Tree House

( x ) Been Scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone



SO FAR: 60



Level 23

( x) Believe In Ghosts

( ) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes

( ) Streaking

( ) Visited a Jail



SO FAR: 61



Level 24

(x) Played Chicken

( x ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger (Suprisingly)

( ) Broken A Bone (Cracked one)

(x) Been Easily Amused



SO FAR: 64



Level 25

(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later

( ) Made A Porn Movie

( ) Caught A Butterfly

(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried

( x) Cried So Hard You Laughed



SO FAR: 67



Level 26

( x) Mooned/Flashed Someone

( x ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You

(x) Cheated On A Test

(x) Forgotten Someone's Name

( ) French Braided Someones Hair

( x ) Gone Skinny Dipping

( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House (close to it a lot)



SO FAR: 72



Level 27

(x) Rode A Roller Coaster

( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling

( x ) Had A Cavity

( ) Black-Mailed Someone

(x) Been Black Mailed



SO FAR: 75



Level 28

(x) Been Used

(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs

( ) Licked by A Cat

(x) Bitten Someone

(x) Licked Someone



SO FAR: 79



Level 29

( ) Been Shot At/Or At Gunpoint

( ) Had Sex In The Rain

( ) Flattened Someones Tires

( ) Rode Your Bike/Driven Your Car Until The Fuel Light Came On

( ) Got R20 Or Less Worth Of Fuel



Total: 79



TOTAL - Re-post this with the title ''I've done ...x out of 129 Stupid Things'' and tag at least 20 people to continue the chain

New school, and a stolen meme.

I like meeting new people.
I like singing.
I like argueing.
I like deep conversations.
I like variety.
I like reading.
I like NIS (Nippon Ichi Software)
I hate how nervous I get when talking to someone new by myself.
I hate close mindedness.
I hate people who abandon friends for 'The person they love'
I hate when people aren't willing to be reasonable.
I hate my allergies.
I hate people who think they know everything.
I hate when people change themselves for one other person.
I hate not knowing what the right decision is.
I love my friends, more than anything.


So, my first day in a new school, was amazing.

Plain and simple.

It's hardly even able to be called school, it doesnt have a school air about it at all. I could go on, and on about it. But I'm not gonna, cause I'm happy, and want to go do stuff.

Anyways, hope your day goes as well as mine!

Youth Group!

It was an awesome time! A little awkward cause we were talking about sex and stuff, but it was still great!

I was fairly out going today, and I'm proud of myself.

I spoke up in small groups, talked with people, made a potentially new friend.

Yay!

I talked to that girl who I thought was familiar.

I asked if I met her before or something, and chatted about it for a bit. I was worried it sounded like some cheap pick up line or something XD

But I never talked to her before, so, I was wrong.

We chatted, and even though I didnt know her before, I do now!

She's pretty cool, we have a lot in common.

Anyways. We mostly talked about deer in small groups, but when we werent, I said something to pitch in some effort now and then. We had ice cream, but I didnt get any. I regret that now.

Then on the way back, we talked about video games, mostly Kingdom Hearts, lol.

I also want to look up ice cream potatoes.

Anyway, my mom is watching a very cheaply done movie right now, and it's painful to watch.

So I'll quickly say that I'm not looking forward to the new school thing tommorow.

I don't even know what I need to bring!

Anyways, cya!

Back to being shackled.

Well, it turns out, I'm not going to a new high school after all. Just to an adult ed place where I know a couple of the students. So much for a new start. I went from one crappy place to another. I feel like I'm trapped again. But oh well, at least I felt free for a few moments. It was nice while it lasted.....That seems to be my life motto lately. Will nothing that makes me happy stick around?

A new horizon.

I'm changing schools, I'm changing schools!

I'm so excited for this!

Scared about the change, and sad that I will miss out on a lot in my old school, but I've wanted to go to a different school for a while, and it's finally happening!

New people, new surroundings, new way to do things. I can leave all my current drama behind me and start fresh!

I will miss my school friends so so much, but I only have one or two that I won't see outside of school, so it's not too bad.

I already have friends in the new school, so I won't be completely lost. I can sit with them and stuff at lunch, if I have lunch with them. I am curious as to how my classes and stuff will work, as well as the lunch.

Gah! There are so many things I want to know! I'm excited! Which is ironic, because school doesnt make me excited.

I feel free, large and in charge, like a new man! This feeling is indescribable!

I probably should feel some negative feelings about this, and I'm sure somewhere inside me there are some. But there's just this overwhelming feeling of.....being lighter, that it drowns out the rest!

This new school better watch out, cause I'm going to take it by storm!!

Sign from God.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I think it's true.

I saw Kara's mom at the dentist, and I froze up. I still want to apologize to them, so this was a shock to me.

I didn't know if it was her or not at first, but there was too much for it to all be a coincidence. Then her phone rang and I KNEW it was her. It freaked me out a lot.
Then I heard a song by Green Day that I know Kara likes, which took my attention away from the drill.

Then, there was a song by some girl, and all I heard was "Don't give up on me." Over and over.

After that, there was a song by a guy singing about how he's going to keep fighting for what he believes in.

Then many songs about love.

It was amazing! I was SMILING during my whole dentist appointment!

If dentist appointments went this well every time, I'd go more often.


Other than that, I decided to take a break from Facebook, until Saturday.
I know it's not that long, but baby steps. I'm working on not being as addicted.
I can do this, I know I can!

In other news, I left my notebook at school, which sucks, because it had some of my new Psyche stuff on it.....

Also, I want to learn to play guitar.

I guess that's it! Bii~

Bring it on life!

I've noticed life is trying to be hard on me lately. A close friend left, took someone I love from me, and possibly having them give up on me. People are avoiding me, not liking the things I do. Making me question my own beliefs, making me lose faith in everything.

Well guess what! I don't care!

Listen to me life, and anyone else who wants to try to make things hard for me!

I am strong, I will keep fighting, I will never break, I will do what's right, and I will care about my friends and loved ones, even if they leave me, and give up on me.

The thoughts you've been putting in my head? Forget about it! I will NOT go back to that, EVER. I made promises to a lot of people.

That apology I owe? I WILL give it.

The people I care about? I still do, and always will.

God? It's shaky, but I WILL believe.

Myself? I will NEVER give up. I am stubborn, and love a challenge.

Morals? I am going to do the right thing no matter what.

The fact that no one reads this anymore? HA! Fine, if they don't want to, they don't have to.

If you don't like this life, then throw ANYthing you want at me, I will face it, I will triumph, I will never back down. I owe it to myself, and everyone not to.

I will become a better person, no matter what you do to me. I will do everything in my power to hold the relationships I have, fix the messes I made, believe in God.

Maybe I won't be happy, but I've spent too much time trying to be happy. It's gotten me this far. But now it's time for me to be stronger.

So life. Screw you, I will do as I please.

You can do what ever you want to me, but I will not go down. I will win, or die trying.

Today.

Today, I'm still alive.
Today, I'm still in love.
Today, I woke up.
Today, I finished Love Stargirl.
Today, I worked extra hard so that I could visit a friend in a different lunch. Today, I made another piece of treasure.
Today, I went to the enchanted place.
Today, I unknowingly destroyed a spiders home.
Today, I meditated for an hour.
Today, I became a part of a spiders new home.
Today, I really took a look at the world around me.
Today, I did not hide my treasure.
Today, I finished Soul Eater.
Today, I listened to lots of sappy music.
Today, I am a better person.
Today, I wrote a post.
Today, is not over.

Post.

Hey people! How ya'll doin'? Did I spell that right....? Ya'll? Oh well.

Not much to report, just been working hard lately. Been under a melancholic optimism. If that makes sense to you. It does to me. Been listening to a lot of sappy music lately. I'M JUST SO EMOTIONAL~! Haha, but really though, the songs are making me feel happy and other fuzzy things that I won't go into to much detail about.

Sorry stalkers ;)

So I'm gonna visit a friend in a different lunch, if I can finish a class in LAD. Then I'll pay 4 zero to hero passes and work through MY lunch to go see her. I hope it works! I've been thinking about whether or not I should tell her first, but I want it to be a suprise.

I want to hear a really good joke......

I had a melted shake, it was so good!

Okay now I'm just saying the first things that come to my mind.....

Anyways, so I've been asking close friends of mine to pray with me about something I'm going to do. Hopefully I can do it soon, I'm nervous, but waiting is just making me anxious.....

Anyway, gonna listen to music now, bii~

Today was fun.

My sister came and we hung out. We went to the mall and talked about stuff on the way. I ran into someone I knew, and about had a heart attack. It was really weird, cause we barely looked at each other, but that brief moment was enough to be like BAM!! I don't think we could have noticed each other more if we were both running and collided into each other. We talked for a bit, and I introduced the person to my sister. Then we parted ways, and I was nervous and twitchy the rest of the time in the mall. My sister said we both looked REALLY freaked out. Which there was good reason for. I was really afraid that I'd have to jump behind a tree to hide at some point. Or end up going into an awkward section in Barnes and Noble to conceal myself. It was random, heart and nerve wracking, and scary. Altough it was very nice for a moment. At first it was warm and fuzzy, then turned hot and stabbing. It was all in all an interesting experience.

Inquiry in the morning.

I always wondered why I do what I do, because despite being able to understand others, I can't understand myself.

I never do my school work anymore, and I keep wondering why.
Is it because I'm afraid of failure, so instead of fighting it, I embrace it?
Is it that I feel I'll fail anyway and just don't try?

Then I also wonder why I want nothing but to have fun and laugh.
Is it just who I am?
Am I not as capable as taking things seriously?

But then I also get hurt and heart broken easily.
Is it because I'm weak?
Is it because I care too much?

But despite that I always try to fix what I ruin.
Is it because I can't stand losing the things in my life?
Is it just my nature?

There's a lot more things, but I can't think of the right questions for them.
I think it's just because I take the phrase "Live for today." Too seriously, because there is no gauruntee for tommorow, or next week, or next year.
So I move fast, have fun, slack off, make people happy, don't act like too big a jack ass, but still a big enough one to have a laugh.


Or maybe it's something else entirely. Who knows? I think no matter how much I study myself, it'll be impossible to fully understand. But I can try.

My first thoughts of the day.

So, I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off, and the first thing I thought was.
"Heck yeah! I'm so freaking awesome, so fast my alarm can't keep up! Just watch, I'm gonna shut that thing up right as it goes off!"
5 minutes later.
*smack!*
"Shut up alarm clock, you don't DESERVE to wake me up!......Wait.....What?"
And that's when I realized what I was thinking XD

Then in the shower I got to wondering what my 6th sense was. I think it might be that I can read people, either that, or I have a slight sense of the future.

Cause I'm REALLY good at reading people, and treating them respectively the way that makes very little conflict. Or at least help me repair it if conflict is inevitable. Only once has there been someone that was not easy for me to understand, and let's just say that it didnt end as well as I had hoped.

I don't mean read in the way that my sister said she used to, the way I understand how she did it was that she could sense there aura, or spirit, and tell if they are a bad person, or good person. Sort of, that's how I took it anyways.

For me it's just I can tell a lot about the person just through conversation. I can know things about them without them having to say. Although I'd never mention it. I can find an easy path to get them to trust me. Or maybe I'm just good with people, cause like I said, this did fail me on someone I cared about.

Anyway, and the other was slightly tell the future. I can sort of sense if things are going to go well or bad. I always new that 15+ would be difficult for me, but I always jumped to the conclusion it ment I'd do suicide or something. I don't mean difficult like high school, I mean seriously troublesome. Those were not good times. =/

And then one night this summer I absolutely NEW I that I shouldnt have been doing something one night, but I went through with it anyway, and it went badly.

But that could just be chalked up to a gut feeling type deal possibly, but without the gut.

Anyways, and those are my thoughts for the morning. It took longer to type them then think them, lol.

Have a nice day!

1 Are you single? Yep....




2. Are you happy? Not lately no, but I'm trying.



3. Are you bored? Meh.



4. Are you naked? Not anymore.



5. Are you a blonde? Nope.



6. Are you moody? WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT!?!?



7. Are you a lover/hater? Mostly lover.



8. Are you hot/cold? My hands are cold



9. Are you Irish? I think so.....



10. Are you Asian? On the inside.



TEN FACTS.



1. Name: Donald



2. Nicknames: Don, Donny, Plushie, Plush, McDonald, McLovin, Mickey D, Donald Duck, dude, that one guy.



3. Birth mark: I heard I have one on my butt in the shape of a heart, I never really bothered to confirm it.



4. Hair color: Brown


5. Natural hair color: Brown



6. Eye color: Brown



7. Height: 5' 7"



8. Facebook Mood: Not the best.



9. Favorite color: Blue for the most part.



10. One Place to Visit: Heheh....



TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.



1. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes and no.



2. Do you believe in soul mates? Oh yes.



4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally? Many times.



5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I think so.....



6. Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah =/



7. Have you ever liked someone and not told them? Yep.



8. Are you afraid of commitment? Not really.



9. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, she hugs me too much XP



10. Who was the last person you kissed? Giovanna.



TEN THIS OR THAT.



1. Love or lust? Love!



3. Cats or dogs? Dogs.



4. A few best friends or many regular friends? Few best friends.



5. Television or internet? Internet.



6. Chinese Or Indian? Chinese.



7. Wild night out or romantic night in? Romantic night in.



8. Money or Happiness? Happiness.



9. Night or day? Night, if you follow the rules....



10. MSN or phone? Phone.



TEN HAVE YOU EVER.



1. Been caught sneaking out? Yeah, a few times.



2. Been skinny dipping? Yep



3. Stolen? If I feel it's not worth anything, and it peeks my interest, then maybe.



4. Bungee jumped? Nope.



5. Lied to someone you liked? Yeah, but I didnt like it.



6. Finished an entire jaw breaker? Yush.



8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back? I do right now actually.


9. Cried because you lost a pet? I did when I was younger.



10. Wanted to disappear? I used to, not so much anymore.



TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER.



1. Smile or eyes? Eyes



2. Light or dark hair? Either



3. Hugs or kisses? Depends



4. Shorter or taller? Not picky



5. Intelligence or attraction? At least smart enough to hold a conversation.



6. Romantic or spontaneous? Both!



7. Funny or serious? Depends on the mood.



8. Older or Younger? Doesnt matter.



9. Outgoing or quiet? Both, like me.



10. Sweet or Rebel? A sweet rebel.



TEN HAVE YOU’S.



1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? No.



2. Ever done drugs? HA! Nope! >=D



3. Ever been pregnant? A few times >.>



5. Ever been on a cheer leading team? Np.



6. Ever Been on a dance team? No.



7. Ever been on a sports team? Used to play hockey.



8. Ever been in a drama play/production? Yeah.



9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?I own all of them, right now!



10. Ever been in a rap video? I'm in ALL of them...



TEN LASTS.



1. Last phone call you made: I think it was Jason....Or maybe Courtney?



2. Last person you hung out with: Augusta. =)



4. Last time you worked: School >.>



5. Last person you tackled: Ha! Secret.



6. Last person you IM’d: Andrea.


8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with: Jason


9. Last thing you missed: Pink lemonade.


10. Last thing you ate: A granola bar.

I don't get it.

Life is just sort of.....going away. My friends are gone, almost all of them. I lost the girl I love, I lost a best friend, I lost a brother, I'm pretty much losing everyone. I've made mistakes, I know, but I always do what I can to fix it, to stay strong, and optimistic. I strayed from God a bit, but I'm trying my best.....Is this some sort of punishment? I just don't get it. I don't know what to do, I'm trying to remain strong, to do the right thing, to be nice, friendly, when all I want to do is just scream, and sleep, for a long time. I'm not doing drugs, and I'm not drinking, I'm trying to make amends to the people I've wronged, and I'm trying to fix tattered relationships, but all that's happening is life is slipping away from me, and I don't know why. I worked so hard for this, so hard to finally be happy. Now I'm trying harder to get it back, and I just don't know what to do, I'm afraid, and I'm hurting, and I'm alone. I just need help....

I'm pretty sure no one is reading my blog anymore anyway, but it still felt nice to finally clear my mind.

Uncorruptable.

Last night I hung out with my friends, who are major drug addicts, and alcoholics. I knew it was probably a bad idea, but I would have felt bad denying their invitation, so I went with them. I was quiet most of the time, new people, new surroundings. I'm the kind of guy who scopes out a situation first, so that I can later act and behave the way that is appropriate for the situation.

Anyways, so we hung out at Augusta's house (My closer of the two friends) and sat around for a bit, then they ran off and I was stuck with these two guys, both over 21, didn't know anything about them. And we just sat in the quiet. Or at least I did, the other two were at least trying to start up conversation with each other. One of them talked to me for about 5 seconds, but it didnt last long. Lol.

Anyway, so they were drinking, while I watched silently, occasionally theyed offer me a drink, and I'd politely decline.

Then they drove around, while drinking. That made me nervous, since I get a bit antsy in cars as it is. But Tiffany is actually a good driver. Anyway, I didnt die, or get hurt, so all is good. Then we went into Lansing, where there was a car accident, dropped of Augusta's bro, then met some people. Two of them hopped in the car with us, and I was introduced to both of them. About 10 minutes later, Augusta tried to introduce us again, forgetting she did it the first time (She was drunk, lol) Then we dropped them off and were heading back to get me home, but we were still in Lansing when Augusta had to pee. So we pulled over, and she went to an orange cone thing and peed on it. I only know this because she said she wanted to, that, and she seemed to struggle to knock it down.

But yeah, so I got home, then had to go over to Courtneys to show her my hair, which had been straightened the same day. I looked like an anime character. Unfortunetly though, it already started to curl when the pic was taken, so it didnt look the same as when it was first straightened.

Anyways, so I learned that hanging out with people like that isn't bad, it just depends on your perspective, and the type of people they are.

Renewal in faith.

Last night at youht group, we watched To Save A Life again.

I can't think of any words that can describe that movie right. It's amazing, beautiful, awesome (The REAL meaning not the new one.)

It hit me a LOT harder this second (Maybe third) time around, mainly because I went through both Jake and Jonny's sides of the story. It really helped me a lot right now, for what I'm going through, and I really needed that a lot, I didn't even know how much until afterward.

It helped me refind my faith in God, and I am so so grateful for that.

Afterward, or youth pasture gave a speech, and with that added onto the movie, I had to fight hard not to cry! Lol. Thankfully I was sitting next to Rachel, and she held my hand when she saw me, which made me feel better about it.

This movie is very powerful, and can help a lot of people out, if there is someone reading my blog who hasn't seem it, I highly recommend it. It might change you, and help you with your problem.

My attempt at a poem.

All these ashes,
Surround me.
Burning bridges,
All I see.
Isolation,
Unavoidable.
Destruction,
Inceivable.
Wanted peace,
Nevermore.
Total nightmare,
Forevermore.
Strength of mine,
Dissapearing.
Peace of mind,
Dissapearing.
Did it exist?
Maybe.
Can it exist?
Maybe.
Cam I attain it?
Maybe.
Will I enjoy it?
Maybe.
Will it be easy?
Maybe not.

Why can't we just be more honest?

Today was kind of blah. It had it's ups and downs, as usual. I had a lot on my mind though, again as usual. I wonder why we, as people, can't be more open and honest with each other. Why we can't really on others for help. Take advice gracefully, listen to those who care about us. Why can't we be as strong as we think we are, or as strong as we want to be? Why can't we be our absolute selves, without worring what people think? Not worry about what's main stream, and what's not. Fitting in, or shunning anything deemed popular. Why can't people accept themselves for who they are? Why can't people be willing to change themselves? I know that sounds counterdictory, but it's not as opposite as it sounds. People talk about how they don't like a certain part of them, or hear about how someone has a problem with a part of them. They aren't willing to work to change it. I'm not talking superficial, I mean deeper. No one listens anymore, not to strangers, not to peers, not to the people who care about them, not themselves. Listening is a GOOD thing, just the way we take them is often times bad. There are times that yes, people WILL try to hurt you, but if you listen deeper, you can hear their own words protecting them, or turning on them. Deeper then between the lines, but in the very words themselves. People who act strong can in fact be incredibly weak, or vice versa, people who don't seem the care, could care the most, and vice versa. We just need to listen, open our eyes, and look for the truth. But this is hard for a lot of people, they don't have the strength, or don't care.


I don't know where I was going with this, I just needed a good rant.

Anyways, thanks for reading, or not....probably not. Haha.

Good bii!

Life Story Meme.

Past:

1. VERY first memory?
Being carried at night, to a cabin up north.

2. First friend you remember making?
Eevee, I miss her.

3. First day of school?
Ran home crying XD

4. Favorite show as a child?
I remember a lizard....

5. First kiss?
4th or 5th grade, during the summer after. Cheyene was her name.

6. First love?
Classified!

7. Best friend?
Jason

8. Biggest regret?
I'll just say it was something between someone who was close to me.

9. Most embarassing memory?
LOL, let's see..... Oh too many to choose, sorry~ ;)

10. Fondest memory?
June 26....or 27.....

______________________________________________

Present:

1. Biggest fear?
Ruining the good things in my life.

2. Current goal?
To make up for my past mistakes.

3. Current crush?
Wouldn't you like to know?

4. Best friend?
Still Jason.

5. Doing right now?
Filling out a meme.

6. Feeling?
Head ache, tired, in need of rest, confused, lonely, longing, my puppy on my lap.

7. What do you WANT to be doing right now?
Sleeeeeeep.

8. Biggest worry?
Tie between my friends, and my sleep troubles.

9. Thing closest to you right now?
My puppy in my lap/arms =)

10. Listening to?
TV music commercial thing.

_________________________________

Future:

1. Aspiration?
To help people.

2. Future career?
Comedian/psychologist.

3. You're getting married, who's the bride/groom?
The girl who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

4. Best man/brides maid?
Hopefully Jason.....His dress will have to be ugly =)

5. How many kids?
Somewhere between 0-11, but not ON those numbers.

6. Gender of first child?
Boy I guess?

7. What is it's name?
Anything but Waldo, I don't need him dissapearing on me.

8. What is something you want to do that you havn't before?
Go to a different country?

9. What is something you've done you want to do again?
Fall asleep holding someone I love.

10. How will you die?
Who says I will?

______________________________

Alright, that's pretty much it. Thanks I guess.

Phew

Okay, so, the past few days have been pretty hectic.
I found out I gotta adopt the anime club, joy.....I feel this will end horribly. But, I guess I'll go down with the ship.

Anyways, so yesterday, I woke up late, thinking it was Saturday, took a 5 min shower, and ran out to get to the bus.

I was having a fairly good day, then lunch came...

I knew I shouldnt have, but it was there.....I ate it....the......schools apple sauce.

Horrible right? Things just went from bad to worse.
At first it was just chest pains, I ignored it. But then my heartbeat began to get irregular, which worried me a bit, but I kept my cool. Then it started to get hard to breath. At this point, I was concerned. Without thinking, I accepted taking a hit from my friends inhaler. HOLY HELL was that a bad idea. I was on the verge of having a heart attack! Literally! I had to get walked to the office, but didnt even make it ten steps before Augusta told me to wait while she got someone. She ran to the office and got help, coming back with the principal and vice principal. The took my to the office, while the principal got the first aid monitor guy. I wasn't trying to, but the pain and weird feelings made me cry, and leak from my nose. It was gross, but I kept a smile on my face to keep Augusta from getting to scared. Anyway, so they layed me down in the office and asked me questions, and so that's when we found out the inhaler made it worse. So they called my grandma in, and went on to explain how I could have had a heart attack, and apparently I was close? I dunno, it was kinda blurry at that point. Anyway, so my friend Augusta and I talked about Candy Tacos! I DO remember that, and the ingredients needed. Haha, I think that helped her a bit, she was crying, I felt bad. =( But, then my grandma came and got me, I SHOULD have went out in the wheel chair, they offered it to me, but I didnt take it, which I should have, it woulda been kinda nice to use one without myself operating it. Anyways, I digress, so I got home, and slept, and my mom was made at me for coming home early -.- I guess heart attacks aren't on her 'Good reasons to leave school list' lol, jk jk. But really, it was ridiculous.

Then today, I went shopping and out to dinner with my grandma. We ate at Outback, and went to the mall and stuffs. I got a book, or well, a mangaish thing called Daniel X by James Patterson, it sounded really good! Then I got a game at Wal-mart, from a series games that I really enjoy. Got sushi at Kroger, and got ingredients for my candy taco from a lot of places. I also got a bunch more of these little figurine guys that are so cool! Kara knows what I'm talking about =D

Anyway, that was my exciting weekend. Enjoy. Let's see how tommorow goes ;D

Good day gone away?

Today I was having an amazing day, I was in a really good mood! I finished City of Glass, which had a lot of funny quotes to end it with, and I've been looking forward to an rp that was SO much fun last night, we're continueing it today. I have a new seat in LAD (Everyone does) I sit in the awesome corner, and Augusta is right next to me the WHOLE day! I'm happeh! Her and I talked about a lot of craaaaazy stuff, as usual, and I'm glad to hear she got that fight she wanted! I was even in a good mood in 4th hour! By then I'm usually tired, and grumpy, but finishing my book in that hour really made it better. Having to stay after for study tables didnt really bother me all that much either. But then my mom made me drive home, and that made me upset, I HATE driving! And I gotta do it again tommorow. I wanna get in a small accident so she never lets me do it again. But anyway, and so I talked to people, got something off my chest (I hate holding stuff in, and having to do that a lot recently has really been getting at me.) and now I'm waiting for that rp, but it's getting a bit late, and I'm a tad worried, we started at this time last time too, but we didnt even finish it. It lasted about 4 hours, it was SO much fun!

Oh yeah! I forgot, some social worker came in today, had us do conflict resolution thingies. I arm wrestled a kid, and won both times, getting candy both times. I offered him a piece but he didnt want any. Then we filled out some sheets, and my score seems promising =D

Anyways, gonna do stuffs. Bii~

2 things I like about 10 people.

It's supposed to be 20 things you like about one person, then give that person the list. I figured I'd change it up a bit.

1. Jason:
1. You're a loyal friend.
2. You're understanding and patient.

2. Augusta:
3. You're a lot of fun
4. You can really cheer me up.

3. Tiffany:
5. You tell funny stories.
6. You keep me company at school.

4. Kara:
7. You're a very wonderful person, it's hard to pick just two qualities.
8. You're really the only true individual that I've met.

5. Courtney:
9. You're fairly outgoing.
10. You do what's right by you, no matter how it effects others.

6. Kayame:
11. You're the sweetest girl I've met, you care about people to the point that it hurts you.
12. You're always there for people with open arms, an ear, and a shoulder.

7. Melissa:
13. You always seem to be in a good mood, I never really seen you in a bad one.
14. You're an honest person, who is okay with saying when something bothers you, but doesnt complain about it.

8. Elizabeth:
15. You're ALWAYS smiling, even when you cried, you had a big smile on your face.
16. You seem to be perfectly fine with who you are.

9. Kenzie:
17. You're a lot of fun, even if it's only online. I think it would be fun to meet you in person.
18. You have a good sense of humor.

10. Sissy:
19. Definetly the coolest big sister in existance.
20. You give me the best advice, and latley, I'd be lost without you're help.


WOW that was harder to do then I thought, some people I couldn't think of enough, some people there was too much to choose from.

I'm glad I finished it though =D

100 question meme. (IS THAT POSSIBLE!?!?)

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
- Hmm....On my wrist, I used to cut myself. I'm not proud of it, but what's done is done.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
- Posters for anime and games, and my katana!

3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?
- Black and grey.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
- All kinds, I like what I like.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
- Not a clue.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
- To make things right.

7. WHO DO YOU MISS?
- Someone very important to me.

8. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOUR OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?
- Yes to the first, maybe for the second.

9. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
- Kara.

10. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
- Lee. And Superamazing, but that's a secret.

11. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:
- That's like asking the book ever created, it can't be done!

12. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
- My mom.

13. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
- No. Depends, whether or not I had a nightmare, just saw something scary, or just plain negative thinking.

14. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
- It was either Kara(Not a bad thing) Or someone who remain nameless, I can't remember which one happened later.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
- I got some bottle called Big Attitude that I put on every morning..

16. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
- Hair and eyes aren't that important to me, but I do like blonde hair, and blue eyes.

17. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
- I feel I'm both, to an extent. But I'd say funny, because you need to be fairly smart to be funny.

18. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
- Energy drinks.

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?
- Pepporoni, or just plain cheese.

20. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
- A Reese's peanut butter cup....

21. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD?
- Courtney =/.

22. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
- I used to be decent at Japanese, but I havnt been studying lately, so no.

23. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
- Going back ot my infant years, I remember my blankie deer, that's what I called a blanket I had with a deer on it ^^;.

24. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
- You have no idea....That's a yes btw..

25. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
- No.

26. FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND?
- I don't have one.

27. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR?
- Oscar Meyer weiner mobile!

28. WHAT COLOUR IS IT?
- .....Hotdog....?

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF EXERCISE?
- Walking

30. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
- Sure, I'd find a way to go with them.

31. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
- Just flat out tell them.

32. WRITE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
- Pi

33. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
- It's a tie.

34. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
- Hmm.....Jason

35. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
- People who refuse to accept the responsibility for their own actions. Or intolerant people, or close minded people.....

35. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHAT PLACE DID YOU LIKE BEST?
- I was born on a planet called Krypton, it was destroyed shortly after my birth.

36. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
- Blushing girls, a certain spot on my neck, and icecicles.........

37. FRIES/CHIPS, RICE OR BEANS?
- Fries.

38. FIRST JOB?
- Prostitution. NOT fun.

39. EVER PRANK CALLED SOMEONE?
- Yes, yes I have.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
- Talking to a girl from Poland.

41. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
- Get my mole removed.

42. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS MEME?
- To prove it could be done.

43. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
- My hair, strangely. I don't count the ladies at hair salons though. I personally think I have a better sense of humour then hair, but hey, what can you do?

44. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
- Try it once, but not really get into it.

45. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
- Secret.

46. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
- 54.

47. WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
- I was named after a singer, his name was Donald......Also my father.

48. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
- Indeed I do.

49. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
- I think it's......my right index finger, it's so helpful.

50. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
- Not too long ago.....

51. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
- Nah.

52. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
- Chicken I suppose.

53. ANY BAD HABITS?
- Yes.

54. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
- The Pokemon Sound track!..... Or an Aaron Carter CD from when I was like 5 XD

55. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
- Heck to the yeah!

56. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
- Once, because it kind of scared me, and I didnt know what to do, but it was to someone that I knew wouldnt tell, because they were completely unrelated.

57. DO LOOKS MATTER?
- To a certain extent, but not much.

58. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
- Music, video games, or just bottle it up inside and wait for it to explode.

59. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
- My grandparents, my friend Jasons, and a secret place.

60. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
- I have trust issues, sure I'll be open and honest, but that doesn't mean I trust them.

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD?
- Hmm....Video games =)

62. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE?
- Uh......Two, maybe three.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
- Oh no, NEVER, why would I EVER do such a thing?

64. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
- Yes.

65. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
- Yeah, the school lunch line.

66. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PLACE TO LIVE?
- Location, space, um.....stuff.

67. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
- Plushie, Plushie Lord, Don, Donnie, boober (By my mom), Prince, Donald Duck, Abe, uh....a LOT.

68. HOW MANY HATS DO YOU OWN? WHAT'S YOUR HAT SIZE?
- Several, a cat hat (My fave), a Luigi hat, a hat from Bleach, an Eeyore hat, a Mario themed hat, an "Outback" Hat(For explorin!) And a couple fedoras when I feel like wearing something cliche.

69. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
- No.

70. WERE YOU UPSET ABOUT STEVE IRWIN DYING?
- No..

71. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
- Rockie Road, but it has to be made a certain way.

72. ARE YOU LAZY?
- Yes, and no.

73. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT?
- Collide, All My Friends Are Metalheads, Sanctuary, and a couple others.

74. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND?
- Hard to say.

75. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
- I consider all my teeth to be wise.

76. DO YOU WANT TO GO ANYWHERE SPECIAL THIS YEAR?
- Ohohoho. Yes, yes I do.

77. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
- The hum of the fan in my computer and the click of the keys on the keyboard.

78. LAST THING YOU ATE?
- Mushy candy apple.....Ew.

79. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
- My mom.

80. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING?
- I don't really take notice of myself, usually I just start thinking about stuff randomly, or what I have that needs to be done.

81. FAVOURITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:
- All My Friends Are Metalheads.

82. FAVOURITE TWO THINGS TO HATE:
- People that I'm mad at, and a game when I'm mad at it =)

83. FAVOURITE DRINK:
- N+I Pink lemonade.

84. FAVOURITE ZODIAC SIGN
- Taurus, cause it's mine.

85. SPORTS YOU LIKE TO WATCH?
- Wii sports.

86. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR?
- Brown, with some strands of silver.

87. EYE COLOUR?
- Brown.

88. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
- Yes, they give me super powers as well as help my eyesight.

89. SIBLINGS?
- Four half sisters, and a half brother who died.

90. FAVOURITE MONTH(s)
- May I guess.

91. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
- Heck yeah I do!!!

92. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
- Some girl try to play leap frog or something and land on her face.

93. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
- January 1st. It gives me hope that the new year will be better.

94. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
- I used to be, cause I used to be down on myself and I hated confrontation, I still hate confrontation, but I dunno if I'm still shy to ask people out.

95. SUMMER OR WINTER?
- Summer.....

96. KISSES OR HUGS?
- Depends, but usually hugs.

97. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS?
- Relationships.

98. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CELEBRITY?
- Me.

99. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ASK YOU ON A DATE?
- HA, not going to answer that one.

100. BOOKS YOU'D LIKE TO SEE TURNED INTO A FILM?
- If they were done WELL, the series of Artemis Fowl, and The Immortal Instrument series.

___________________________________________________________________________________

It CAN be done and I just proved it. Sorry for no real posts lately, I've just been in a meme mood for some reason.

I found me a meme.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

Techniquelly no, but I am serious about it.

02) What was your dream growing up?

I wanted/still want to help people.

03) What talent do you wish you had?

Drawing, or singing.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Depends at the time.

05) Favorite vegetable?

Radishes.

06) What was the last book you read?

Well, I'm currently reading City of Glass (VERY good) but I just finished a book in the Artemis Fowl series.

07) What zodiac sign are you?

Taurus.

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

Nope.

09) Worst Habit?

Nail biting, speaking without thinking, or zoning out.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

Maybe, if I had a car.

11) What is your favorite sport?

Well, I'm not fond of sports, but I guess I'd have to say....Tennis.

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

Pessimistic, but that's not as negative as it might seem.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

Well, since I don't know who you are, probably either zone out, or try to make idle chit-chat.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

A person, I don't want to say too much on my blog.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I'm pretty complicated. What face about me ISN'T weird? Lol, jk. Apparently when I was a baby, I had a heart shape birth mark on my butt.

16) Do you have any pets?

My dog Shadow, who I've had most my life.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

Since I dunno who this is, probably just assume you wanted my mom or something.

18) What was your first impression of me?

I don't know you! But you def make me wish I could have found a better meme.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

Scary.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

My teeth I think.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

Depends on the severity.

22) What color eyes do you have?

Brown.

23) Ever been arrested?

Nope.

24) Bottle or can soda?

Either is fine.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

Buy myself a PS3, Disgaea 3 for the same system, and put the rest in a bank for later.

27) What's your favorite place to hang out?

The park in town.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

Not sure on that one.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Video games, and talking.

30) Do you swear a lot?

Occasionally, but I'm trying to cut back.

31) Biggest pet peeve?

Hypocrites, self centered people, fake people, people who think they are better then people, immature people, people who won't take responsibility. I got a whole list, I won't get into it any more then this, haha.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Misunderstood. (But not in that "emo" depressed way. Or that "individual" cliche way.)

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

I do.

34) Favorite and least favorite food?

Favorite: Sushi, ramen Least Favorite: I don't remember what it's called, it's a chinese dish though.

35) Do you believe in God?

I used to, but I'm having trouble with it lately.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Sure.

Velociraptors and duct tape.

So, the other day, I realized, if velociraptors came to our school, we'd all die, because our door handles are not safe from them. If you have seen Jurrasic Park, you'd understand. This worries me, you have no idea.

In other news!

I wore duct tape over my mouth ALL day, well, most of the day. By 5th hour (Last hour for those of you who don't know.) it started to burn, and when I removed it to talk, I got a comment that my mouth was extremely red. So I had to take it off.

It had a smiley on it =D

Although, I got a lot of weird comments and looks about it, I kept it on, cause I had a good reason. Although I heard some people who shall remain nameless talk about how I'm doing it for attention, and one then precedes to say rather loudly "Let's just not pay him any attention!" This is all ironic, because for one, the person who I think said it was being a HUGE hypocrite, and second, they never talk to me anyways XD Now, I could be wrong about the hypocrite thing, this is just who I THOUGHT said it.

Anyways, but the reason I had it on was because I have a tendency to say things without thinking,which often times got me in trouble, or hurt someones feelings. So I used the tape to keep myself quiet, and when I had to say something, it gave me a second to think about what it is I'm about to say, and either alter it, or not say it all together.

It was a hit and miss. It worked occasionally, which is good. But it doesnt give me a long term effect. But hopefully it'll help me remember to think before I talk. Cause it was really...um.....inconvenient =)

Although, aside from that, my day was great! Up until Anime Club, then it kind of crashed, to begin with, no one showed up. I'll leave it at that. But, I won't let that keep me down, I have stuff to do, and I WILL find something to bring my day back up!!

Have a great one folks!

P.s. It's a day late, but happy birthday Kara!

Running Away.

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and this song sort of says a lot of how I feel on a topic giving me a lot of stress.


Running Away by Hoobastank


I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Cause I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
...What is it I've got to say...
So why are you running away?
...To make you admit you're afraid...
Why are you running away?
________________________________________________________

And the thing that's been making me sad lately kind of goes along with this song.


You''l Be In My Heart by Phill Collins


Come stop your cryin'
and we'll be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I will protect from all around you,
I will be here dont you cry.
For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm,
This bond between us cant be broken,
I will be here dont you cry

CHORUS:
'Cos you'll be in my heart,
yes you'll be in my heart,
From this day on now and forever more.

You'll be in my heart,
No matter what they say,
You'll be here in my heart,
Always.

Why can't they understand the way we feel,
They just don't trust what they cant explain.
How know your different
Deep inside us, where not that different at all.

CHORUS:
And you'll be in my heart,
yes you'll be in my heart,
From this day on now and forever more.

Don't listen to them, 'cos what do they know.(what do they know)
We need each other, to have to hold.
They'll see in time, I know.

When destiny calls you, you must be strong
(you godda be strong)
I may not be with you, but you got to hold on.
They'll see in time, I know.

That your there together 'cos

You'll be in my heart,
Believe me,
You'll be in my heart.
I'll be there from this day on,
now and forever more.
Ooh you'll be in my heart
(you'll be here in my heart)
No matter what they say
(I'll be with you)
You'll be here in my heart
(I'll be there)
Always

Always
I'll be with you,
I'll be there for you always
Always and always.
Just look over your shoulder x3
I'll be there always.
________________________________________________


Of course that doesnt cover everything, but it's a start I suppose. I really wish there were some songs that would explain exactly how I feel. But I've been looking, I'm bound to find some eventually. Music has been helping me a lot! Something about it just fills me with happiness, and wholeness. It can turn me from boiling mad to completely calm, or extremely depressed to happy, or vice versa. Music is just so magical!

I love this.

Thinking of you, wherever you are.
We pray for our sorrows to end.
And we hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows - starting a new journes may not be so hard
Or maybe it has already begun.
There are many worlds.
But they share the same sky -
One Sky.
One Destiny.


I know it's from a video game, but I still think it's beautiful.

Story.

I got bored in class, and wrote a short scene with characters from a game I play. If you look to the right, you will see them. ---->

Mind you, this is just a rough, quickly done story, with no real ending, yet.

"You saw didn't you!?"
"Saw what? I don't know what you mean."
"You know exactly what I mean!" The small blonde girl said, tears coming to her eyes.
"Oh, you mean the bear?"
The girl gasped and covered her face with her hands.
"Hey, it's your own fault, what kind of idiot hangs upside down in a tree wearing a dress?"
After wiping her eys the girl glared at him angrily. "It's not a dress, it's a robe of a fallen angel, standard issue!"
"I'll take it that the undies weren't included?"
The boy folded his arms, getting slightly annoyed with the arguement.
The girl gaped at him, "Sir Laharl, you're the worst!"
"Yeah Prince, you're the one peeking at her panties you perv, be a littler nicer to poor little Flonne." Interrupted a girl with fiery red hair, put up into two spiked pig tails.
"Dammit Etna, I wasn't looking at her underwear!"
"Then howed you spot the bear?" Etna asked in a mocking tone, with a smirk on her face.
"It wasn't hard to notice! It just cought my attention, I have no interest in panties!" Laharl said in his defence.
"Oh So if I were to show you.... my panties right now, you would't care?" She asked seductively, grabbing at the bottom of her skirt and slowly beginning to lift.
"W-WHAT!?" Laharl uncrossed his arms and made a face of shock, disgust, and a small hidden amount of embarrasment.
Etna let out a snort, and fell to the ground rolling with laughter. "Oh man, you should've seen your face! It was priceless!" She breathed in hard to cath her breath, then continued with her laughing fit.


And, that's all I got so far.

School started.

Yep, and it sucks. I might post more often, maybe.

I've been down the past few days, but a lot of things have cheered me up, people, internet, myself even. Despite the situation, I'm actually happy.

So, this tri, sucks, horribly. I don't have anywhere to sit at lunch, so I grab my food, sit at a table, eat it quickly, then run away into the hall way. There's a new girl who's in my LAD class who sort of does the same thing, I've been being nice to her, since I know what it's like being a new kid, but she has it worse since it's high school.

I did homework today, it wasnt too bad, but I'd rather not do it every night.

So, the anime club is coming back this year, still have to figure everything out though.

Anyways, I'm too tired to continue, not even sure what else to post.

So, good night all.

I'm sorry.

About my previous post. I didnt mean it......in a way. I was just letting off steam. Please disregard it all.

Bullshit.

.....You know what, forget it. I had a whole speech prepared, about how I just quit. With religion, with people, with trying to be a better person. But, it's not worth it, and right now, I don't find any of you worth it to type all of it. I'm just done, all this shit has brought me is pain. Sure, some things have made me feel better then I ever have before, but when I lost it, it just made me feel equally worse. So I'm done.

Stolen Meme.

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
Not at the moment, no.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
In a sense, maybe, do I regret it, no.

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
Yes.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
Oh........Hello.


5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
Havnt noticed much really.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?
2-3 depends.


7. What was the last thing you drank?
Grape Crush.


8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Not at the moment.

9. Name one thing you love about winter?
Christmas.

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
I don't think so.....

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Absolutely nothing.


12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
Not in a good mood, at all.


13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
8 months.

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Regretted it.


15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
Not in those words exactly.

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
Yes.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
I don't see why not.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
Yeah, I doubt I'll like it though.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
Sometimes.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I have no idea at the moment.


21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Uuuhh......


22. Describe your accent:
I couldnt tell ya.

23. If you could change anything about yourself, would you?
Right now, I'm tired of changing, and compromising. So no.

24. What do you wear to sleep?
Whatever I'm currently wearing at the time. So anything.


25. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? What caused it?
I can't say, but it was the only good thing that happened to me within the week.

If you're looking for more, forget it, I don't feel like it. I only put this up because it required little to no work, and I hadnt updated in a while.

Blah.

Did stuff today...It was tiring.

I'm not gonna write that story, so I'll just let that little nugget bounce around in my head I guess.

Anyways, gonna shower, there's sand in my hair.

Sorry for not posting.

I know I havnt posted in a while, I'm sorry, I just havnt felt like it.

Right now, I'm bouncing around ideas for a kind of story I've been thinking about for a while.

I want to use these lines, or something like them.

"Running, so much running, how long has it been like this?"

"Darkness, growing, spreading, consuming, taking over everything."

"The moon is slowly dissapearing. Not like being covered by clouds, or in a different phase. But like it's being eaten, swallowed, dissolving into nothing."

I know it's stupid to put this here, but I wanted to put them somewhere I would remember.

Anyway, that's it for now I suppose.

Stolen meme.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My wenises.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Back, with KH characters on it.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Most definetely.

4. Do you plan outfits? If I feel I need to.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? It can only be described as, fleh.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? The button on a measuring tape thing.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I had one this morning, Kara was in it.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? The Bad Ass Overlord Zetta!!

9. What are you craving right now? Pink lemonade, and a nap.

10. Do you floss? Yes.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Veggie ball.

12. Are you emotional? Yep

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I tried, got to 200, and quit. ADHD ;D

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick.

15. Do you like your hair? No, but other people SAY they do.

16. Do you like yourself? Not at all.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? What would the reason be?

18. What are you listening to right now? My mom is watching Missing

19. Are your parents strict? Sort of, my mom is unpredictable.

20. Would you go sky diving? I'll try anything at least once.

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Ew, no.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Nope.

Alright, guess I'll take some initiative.

Since no one is posting, I guess the responsibility falls onto me.

HELLO!

I have lots of post worthy news for all of you!

That I won't be sharing.

So instead, I'll tell you about my daily life events.

I've been leveling up my characters on Disgaea, and watching Zombieland.

Oh, and there's other stuff in there too.

Anyway, more stuff needs to happen for my daily life, it sounds lacking when I talk about it.

I'm really craving pink lemonade.

Anyways, so yeah, bii all!

1. What curse word do you use the most? Hell, or damn.

2. Do you own an iPod? No =/

3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most? I don't talk on the phone.

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed? Yeah, vaguely. It was a loooong time ago.

5. Do you remember where you were on 11/9/01? No, I was prolly in school though.

6. What was the last movie you watched? Karate Kid 3

7. Has anyone ever called you lazy? I do it all the time!

8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? Sometimes.

9. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Maybe, it's a secret.

10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Face.

11. What are you looking forward to? Pink lemonade.

12. Do you own any band t-shirts? Nah.

13. What will you be doing in one hour? Not a clue, I'll make things up as it goes.

14. Is anyone in love with you? Oh yes, everyone ;)

15. Last time you cried? I can't remember.

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop? Desktop.

17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? My nipples......Not really.

18. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos? I don't have a problem with it.

19. What were you doing before this? Sleeping, wake up, computer, level up my Squiby pets.

20. When is the last time you slept on the floor? Hmmm, actually slept, a long time ago, layed on the floor, last night.

21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? Who needs sleep!?!?!? COOOOOFFEEEEEEE!!

22. Do you eat breakfast daily? Nah.

No pink lemonade makes me sad.

I havnt been doing much today, but I guess that's because I woke up at 4:30 pm? Crazy I know. =) I woke up with this horrible burning head ache, but it went away quickly enough. Then I got on the computer, talked to people, then played video games, got bored, then back on the computer. Oh, and I listened to music, a new band I found out about from an online game I play, Adventure Quest Worlds (I feel they deserve recognition, since I am grateful) from a live event that they held, thank you AQW staff! Anyway, the bad is One Eyed Doll, they are so good, dark, twisted, and sometimes funny. I love it.

So life has been pretty good lately, I've been enjoying it quite a bit, hope it doesnt change soon =( I would hate that.

And so I shall leave my post with those words.

Bii~

JaFax, night walk, and video games.

I have to say, this has been the BEST weekend I've had in....well, ever!

First off, JaFax,

It was amazing!

We got lost on the way there, because a certain duck voiced GPS was crapping out on us. And I made an impression of what I think a GIR voiced GPS would sound like, it was the best I have EVER sounded like him.

Naturally, I happened to be the one who spent the most. On 3 things. In the order of which I bought them:
1st. Kara's souvenir. I saw this and instantly fell in love, and just HAD to get it for Kara, who couldnt come with. I'm so glad she liked it!
2nd. A neko hat~ It's awesome! I've been wanting one for sooooo long.
3rd. A prinny plushie! This was uber expensive, but it was the last one, and since I played Disgaea, I've wanted one of my own.

Courtney got a bunch of hugs, and her picture taken, quite a few times. I wanted to hug Hinata, but didnt, oh well =/

Then I got my picture taken with a cat girl on stilts! Cat girls are awesome, haha.

Then we headed home, and I never spent that last $7....

I got home and talked with Jason for a bit, did some stuff on the computer, played some games, and didnt sleep, so I went on a walk about 1:30-ish am.
Despite how great my day was already, this was my favorite part of the day (I say that because I hadnt slept, techniquelly it was today.)

It was so bright out, the moon lit everything up.
I saw some beautiful things while I was out, but it was also a little scary, and made me nervous a bit, haha.

But in the end, I got home, and was more awake then I was before, I didnt fall asleep until the sun was up a bit.

I woke up, watched Rugrats, talked with people on the comp a bit, then my mom told me she's redownloading the whole thing AGAIN, but that's okay. We went out to Gamestop while it was redownloading, I went in with the intent to buy one specific game, but didnt find it, so picked two that are related to Disgaea in one way or another. I laughed, because after I bought them, I found the game I went in for.
My mom got mad, because she spent the same amount of money she gained for selling my old playstation that it costed to buy a cord she took from my ps2.

And that's my amazing weekend so far! I hope it keeps being this great!

Another meme.

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely: Around town, or at a friends house.

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on? Well, I didnt spend that much ever, but my mom payed for summer school.

3. What do your bank checks look like? Not a clue.

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? My closet.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: Not sure, there isn't anything that I want that can be bought.

6. What color is your toothbrush? Green.

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Hats, it wasnt intentional at first, it just kind of started to happen.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it? McDonalds, My mom, we had shakes, and I had chicken nuggets. It was okay.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for? Uuuuh.....Can't remember!!

10. What is your worst bad habit? Speaking before I think, or saying something I didnt mean to. Happens all the time.

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to? Game Informer

12. Your favorite pizza toppings? Cheese and pepperoni.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book? My friend Jason.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? Wouldn't you like to know ;)

15. What is the last thing you cooked? Yakisoba.

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used? Food, condom (Don't plan to buy one anyway.) and tissues.

17. Which shoe do you put on first? Which ever one is closer.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing? My keys, but I'm sure there was something after that that I forgot.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house? My moms funky plant looking lamp.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning? I havnt yet, not sure about my mom though.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? Black by Bod, I switched for a while, but then my life went crazy, so I think that stuff brings me bad luck.....

22. Your favorite board game? Nintendo Monopoly.

23. What was the last board game you played? Nintendo Monopoly.

24. Where did your vehicle come from? That's vague of a question, we have more then one.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be? Basket Case I guess.

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily? Kara =)

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Never been to a wedding.

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? I don't haev chores~

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Chicken strips with honey mustard, or fried chicken legs.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is? Chocolate, or some sort of ice cream cake.

Basket Case. (Pretty much my theme song)

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Am I just stoned?

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex
That's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
It's bringing her down

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Uh, yuh, yuh, ya

Grasping to control
So I better hold on

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Am I just stoned?

Depression of a summer school prisoner.

I'm stuck in the library of the school, but not to read books, for a class, math class.
This is very monotonous, and I don't like it.
This has been draining all my energy, nothing is going on in my life, and it's making me more and more exhausted each day.
Sleep and summer school take about 2/3 of my day from me.
Now the last 1/3 that I have to myself awake, is filled with depressing thoughts and wishes of escaping this life.
So far summer is not fun at all, any determination, or will to care about stuff, has pretty much vanished. A meteor could be hurtling toward Earth, and I really wouldnt mind.
The first I'm going to do after summer school is an all nighter.

1.When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water? Start it, test it, get in, but only after I take my clothes off.
2.Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle? No, why would I do that?
3.Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences commercial? No, but I sing.
4.Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? Not showered, took a bath with, once, when I was really little, let's not go there, okay?.
5.Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings? No.
6.Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower? Yeah, occasionally..
7.Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot? I've dropped a bottle of body wash on it (OW!) does that count?
8.How old do you look? A wide range from middle school to college.
9.How old do you act? I want to be a kid again.
10.What's the last song you sang? Mario Kart Love Song
11.Have you recently become a member of anything? TOW, does that count?
12.What are your plans for the weekend? I was supposed to visit my sister, but my mom said no because of summer school.
13.Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? I'm not sure, I've only kissed with just lips, and the last time it happened I was too shocked to notice I think they were open though..
14.Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice? I don't even know who that is..
15.Does anything on your body itch right now? My leg.
16.Who's the sexiest famous woman alive? I don't find famous people appealing, I know, I'm weird..
17.Who's the sexiest famous man alive? With the answer to the last question in mind, I also am not attracted to men. But with that said, I will be the sexiest famous man in the near future.
18.Does every family have a crazy uncle? I would say yes, but if the kids parents have no siblings then they wouldnt.
19.Have you ever smuggled something into America? Never been out of America, so no.
20.Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive? No, it's cool, but it doesnt make them more attractive.
21.Do you live in a city with a good sports team? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....No.
22.Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag? Maybe, I dunno.
23.Have you ever had sex in a tent? No.
24.What about in a boat? Nope
25.Have you ever dated a Goth? No.
26.Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex? Uh.....I dunno, I'm not really interested in that at the moment. But I guess if I had to choose, amazing sex.
27.Can you fix your own car? Don't have one, and if I did, no.
28.Would you want to kill George W Bush yourself if you were guaranteed to get away with it? Not directly, I'd find a way for him to meet my mom and let it go, there for I'd be in the clear.
29.Should guys wear pink? That's up to each individual guy..

Weather alert.

What the heck is the point of these besides to bother people? Seriously. I'm trying to watch Last Comic Standing, if you arent going to make me laugh then get off! I think the people in the vecinity are well aware that there is a storm coming and the need to get into some shelter, I'm half a state away, I don't care, I'm going to be fine, seriously, it's not even heading in my direction. Then they insist, not only to cut out a part of your schedualed programming, but to also make sure you get to see as little of it as possible. "This alert will last 17 minutes." WTH!? That's exactly the amount of time the show has left, what's wrong with you!?

Weather alerts are stupid and pointless, it was made up by the news media to get more viewings by those who don't care about recent events, and have the special ability to tell the weather by looking out the window.

This is my rant for the night.
Thank you.

Binary post.

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Yeah, I was bored. Have a nice day.

I need a helmet.

Recently I've been getting more into my bike riding, every day, maybe twice or more a day, I'll get on my bike and take a nice little trip around town, same route for the most part. I think about all the stress and drama in my life. Then when I go past Kara's house, I put it in 7th gear,which is a little hard to pedal with. Then I turn onto the busier street in my town and I start thinking more about what's been making me angry, and upset, and focus it all into pumping my legs as hard as I can. I start to get faster, to the point that if a car is following, it takes a long while for it to catch up, then I take another turn heading for the park, the another to head for the street I live on. This is very hard to do, since I'm going so fast, I have to make very wide turns and tilt my bike at an angle just to barely miss the grass. I was doing very well today, getting good speed, but when I made the second turn, my bike wobbled a bit and I thought I was losing control, but it turns out I just didnt tilt enough.....Or too much, dunno. Strangely enough I was excited about that, it got my heart pumping more and I wanted to keep going, despite my lungs screaming for air, and my legs feeling non existant. So then I was heading back to my house, and was about to turn into my drive way, when someone called my name and said hi, this cought me by suprise and I almost crashed into my garage door.
I know this all sounds nuts, but I'm really enjoying it, when I get to pedaling like that, with my blood flowing, and everything blurring by me, all my thoughts melt away, the drama in my life starts becomes unimportant, and soon all that exists is me and my bike. It's so peaceful, even if I do feel like I'm dieing, but I'd rather that then deal with the chaos of my mind. I'm lovin' it. Then I get home whip out the ice pack and cool myself down. Seeing the fog (mist/steam?) come off it is kind of fun as well, and everything comes back after a while.

What I've learned from this: I need a helmet, or I will die.

Maybe I should start doing this earlier in the morning? Specifically set my alarm really early just for that? Opinions, biking tips, inquiries, please? Thank you =)

Ugh, blah, meh, mornin'....

It's early.....to me anyway.
I'm in need of rescueing.
All next week I'm going to be super busy, with hardly any time to myself, I need to do something this weekend, really bad!
Need an escape please!
Anyways, if I don't end up doing something today, I'll probably just play lots of video games, read books, read web comics, and ride my bike a couple times.....

I did have a lot more to post, but sleep kind of wiped the thoughts out of my mind.

Oh wait! My psychologist gave me a book to help me learn Greek! I'm kind of excited.

Okay, now I have nothing more to talk about, or rather, that I want people to know about.

Bii~

School is back in session.

So, my mom freaked out on me because I got a D- in Pottery class, so now I have to start going to summer school. I'm not even going to get into how dissapointed I am to have her as a mother.

But, other then that, I've been hanging out with friends, dealing with issues, and relaxing.

I think what I'm most excited about for the summer, is the 4th of July, not sure why.
But I do remember this one time a few years ago, I was watching fire works in Sunfield, and these girls behind me were talking kind of loudly, then they started to discuss what colors they wanted to have come out of the fire works. After a variety of colors one of them shouts "Black!!" Then everyone was just like "....Black?" And they laughed, I found this amusing for some reason, but actually, black coming out of a fire work would look kind of cool. Dunno if it's possible though, but I really want to see one now.

So yeah, been hanging out with friends, going to youth group, got some new secrets ;D
Nah jk jk......Maybe. Haha.

I've been playing Neopets a lot lately, like every day, for hours.
Why? There is an annual sports tournament thing called Yooyuball, and my team never wins!! So I've been playing Yooyuball for hours every day to get my teams score up, not sure why this is so appealing to me, but I REALLY want my team to win!

Go Virtupets!!

I'm a dork, hahaha.

Anyways, redownloaded the ENTIRE computer, hopefully Mabi will work now, I want to play that too, I need levels!!

Wow, okay, I'm coming off WAAAY to geeky.

So after school today, I called around, and I'm going to be a super model, how awesome is that? Be jealous, I know you all are. I'mma find a way to represent TOW into almost every thing I'm in, just watch!!

Bye mii~~

Post.

I'm sorry I havnt posted, there hasnt been much to report. And at the moment I'm not in the best mood, and what is post worthy, I don't want certain people to know.
Sorry if the post is depressing, or annyoing, but that's just how I feel right now. I'm really just hating this. It's just so hard right now. I might not post for a while, just a heads up.

Bye.

Rainows and lollipos and....Screw it I'm not THAT happy.

Hulloooooo evrii bahdee!!

I'm in a gooooood moooooood~
Why?
That's classified.
Meaning I have no clue.
Sherlock, gimme some help?
I've been busy with lots of stuff.
And have been doing a lot of thinking.
Uh oh.
Lolol.
Jk, it's not bad thinking, just thinking.
About life, death, love, hate, gain, loss, deep thoughts about the mysteries of the universe, the complexity of God, the workings of the soul, people, my puppy, and video games =)
I need a soup laddle, very very badly!
I swear I'm going insane. But I'm not crazy!!!
I saw these funky birds that I've never seen before in someones yard, they were flightless, short fat birds, but they werent chickens!! And blue fire hydrants!!! And an entire town I've never been to before seemed so familiar!! It seemed like things in the world had changed, and I knew that they did!! Like in the Dreamhouse Kings series!!!
And I'm over it now.
I want to hear Japanese singing.....
Just as there is a light that can never be extinguished, there is a darkness no light can fill.
This makes SO much sense!!
I love that quote, a lot!
Wait.....Oh no!! I just thought of something!!
If I'm in a good mood, that means something bad is going to happen!! Or I'm going to go into a spiralling depression!!
Nothing good happened for me to be in a good mood, so hopefully, and most likely, it will be the latter.
Well bring it on bipolarness of mine!!
I'mma come at chyu with everything I gaht!!
Dancin~ Yeah!

This has been a meaningless post broadcasting brought to you by PlushieInc. Bringing chaos of all kinds, to people like you.
Thank you.

50 Quetion Meme.

Found this on a random blog while looking for memes.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Wow.......I look like crap.....

2. How much cash do you have on you?

......Uh.....A nickel.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

Whore.

4. Favorite planet?

Pluto, only because it got kicked out of it's group of friends.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Courtneys.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

I know no ringtones on my phone.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Pajama shirt.

8. Do you label yourself?

Yes.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Bare Feet.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Dark.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

Seemed like a cool guy.

12. What does your watch look like?

Don't have one.....I should get one.......with a compass......Yeah >=D

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Watching videos on Youtube with Jason.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

I don't get texts.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

.....There's a 7-11 nearby?

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

Yush.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

My mom, lame right?

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Mah puppeh Shadow.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Gummi Butterflies, it's new.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

None.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

4. Life was so much easier then.

22. Your worst enemy?

Life.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

My comp has Haruhi Suzumiya, my mom's has some shirtless guy.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

Yurp.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

Flying.

26. Do you like someone?

Unfortunetly.

27. The last song you listened to?

Uh......Thanks For The Memories I think.

28. What time of day were you born?

Not sure.

29. What’s your favorite number?

4

30. Where did you live in 1987?

Not sure, where is a person before they are born?

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Yep.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

Nope.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

Can't remember, possibly in one of my third grade classes?

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

Sigh and walk away.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

I try to be, but I'm starting to dislike the fact that I do.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

I'd get Woodstock (The little bird from Snoopie) On my butt.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Japanese.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Yes.

39. Are you touchy feely?

Sometimes, depends on my mood.

40. What’s your life motto?

I have a lot of them.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

Shirt, pants, glasses.

42. What’s your favourite town/city?

Hmm.....Sunfield, since I know it the best.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

Um......Bun-bun. At least with my own cash.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

A couple weeks ago, waiting for a reply.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

No.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

Let's not go there, shall we?

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

My mom frequently tells me I'm related to Abraham Lincoln. I think she's wrong.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

A tuxedo, for prom.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

My stomach.

50. Have you been burned by love?

Yes.

Today is lacking =/

Today went on as usual, someone brings a stringed instrument, my teacher plays with it. Ate lunch, read very little actually. Guessed on all my Algebra stuff. Went to Civil War and read some web comics. Then school was over. I felt guilty and bad for not going to Anime Club, like I was missing out on something. I'm quite suprised that that became such an important routine for me already. Then I got on the bus, got called a pussy by a 6th grade girl because she doesnt believe I'd punch someone. Then made some dirty jokes. I was suprised, she's like the most nicest innocent person (Aside from Rachel) I have ever met, so being insult by her, was extremely insulting and hurtful. But I forgave her cause she's just a little sweet heart ^^ Then my bus driver wouldnt let me get off at the stop I've been getting off at for the past few days cause it's not my stop, even the it's closer to my house, and I get there a LOT faster! It was annoying. But hopefully I'll be going to youth group, and will hopefully have a good time ^^

Oh, and I decided to take a break from Facebook for a bit, I need off of it, so I need to be strong and not go near it. I even went as far as to delete it from my url list. So I have to stop being lazy if I ever want back on.

Velociraptor squirrels, they exist!!

Man, life has been crazy.
I can't even retain it all.
Let's see. I need a list.
If anyone is interested (or cares) about any of them, ask, and I shall explain.


I saw a velociraptor squirrel.
I did some writing.
I havnt eaten, or slept, in a few days (Except right now, and a bite of a muffin Sunday.)
I got called emotionless in class today. When the person left I had a huge grin and was feeling very good about myself.
Been listening to Green Day.
Our Civil War teacher is having us decorate eggs to look like Civil War generals.
I got a hair cut, I again, look weird.
Went to Horrocks and got a TON of candy, and despite feeling sick, I am eating right now.
I hung out with Joel for the first time in a long time.
Oh! And I have cashew butter ;D

If I think of more, I'll add them =)